Amazingly, this painting has been selected for inclusion in the Discriminating Arts exhibition at the Wales Millennium Centre from June 13th-26th :-)
It's quite revealing and intimate as it says a lot about me as a person.
The inspiration for it came from a ladies cubicle toilet wall tile design! I’d lacked inspiration for weeks and then saw this design, so the next day I quietly took a canvas and spontaneously a whirl of colour came out, starting with yellow.
What this painting means to me is “variety”. Often my feelings are all over the place, a whirl of emotions, colours and potential, always there bubbling away. So much overwhelming potential of being, it contains everything, full of life. And yet there’s not knowing which one to choose, not being able to set myself in any particular colour. So instead I take a piece of them all, all at once. This reflects the information overload that people on the autistic spectrum tend to have, as well as the issues with self and other, and the duality of the world.
My core feels as if I am All and Nothing...both vast and diverse, and empty, void and listless. There are always new things in life to come to terms with and admit in myself. Realising that I may have an autism spectrum condition has been one of the most challenging things that I've had to face.
But, from that comes an abundance of potential. I go through continual cycles of being re-born, constantly changing and flowing with life, yet simultaneously empty and still.
I’m learning not to get carried away by all the variety and potentiality of these cycles, all of which seems to move on this stillness that I am. Half the time I don't know whether I'm coming or going, but I find inspiration in an ancient Zen quote that I try to live by: “Just let things BE in their own way, and there will be neither coming or going."
